Sleep Training

Recently, Alice lost her voice. She sounded like a very small, baby-talking Kathleen Turner. She lost her voice because of the four consecutive nights of scream-crying as we Cried It Out.





While M was performing in a show in NYC in June/July, Alice and I were on the road. We hit six different beds in three weeks (two in Regina, one in Vancouver, one in Chilliwack, back to the same one in Vancouver, one in Brooklyn, and then pull-out in our empty apartment.) The only constant for her was her turtle nightlight, "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" and my boob. I used all three to their fullest extent. So, obvs, we now have some major sleep problems.

We're in the second week of Ferbering, and it's actually starting to work. She now cries for a few minutes at bedtime, then, as we can see through the grainy footage on the video monitor, lies down and  pokes at her stuffed dog until she falls asleep.

But the problem is that we all sleep in the same room. So when she wakes up at 11pm (and then 2am, 4am and finally 6) she peeks over and can see that we're ignoring her. "Guys? Guys!" The book recommends that the parent responsible for checking in on her (me) leave the room after reassuring her. So last night I gave her a little kiss on the head then sat on the couch until she was asleep again. And it worked- she conked out right away after I left the room at 11pm, 3am, 4:30am, (Ok, I broke down and fed her at 4, but still.)

It means I'm leaving the room three times a night.  I had a fantastic nap this morning thanks to my husband, who is not yet steeped in school. But I still feel drugged. I leave the apartment and stand on the front walkway, trying to remember why I left. I sit on the living room floor with Alice, staring into the distance while absently making a stuffed dog dance. I cry for no reason. Something needs to change.

In researching sleep training, I wanted to see if there was any other technique than CIO, and came across a blog post about alternatives. It's written from the perspective of the mother talking directly to the baby, ("I cradle you in my arms, and gently feed you back to sleep," that kind of thing) and describes the co-sleeping method to an older baby who wakes up frequently. The mother feeds, then cuddles, then rocks, then walks her baby until she falls asleep again, over and over again throughout the night. All to avoid crying. This is the method she's using to deal with the situation, not the problem she's trying to solve. I respect a mother's choice as to how to raise her babies, as long as its not hurting them. And I'm sure there are lots of great alternatives to CIO. But this seems like hell to me. It seems like my present situation.

So who knows how long this will last, her sleeping only 2-3 hours at a time, waking up frequently, my standing in the grocery store, staring at a piece of fish for 3 minutes. Hopefully this will work. Any advice is appreciated.